Dieses Leben
by Blau
Summary: How much would you ignore to keep your world perfect? How much would you do to prove yourself to the one you love? HasEnd, KuhnSila AU
1. Introduction

Hallo everyone! Wie geht's?

Every December I start up a story and I update it every night, the ending being posted on Christmas. So while the chapters aren't going to be long, you won't have to wait a long time for an update. Nifty, huh:D

This will be my... third year doing this challenge-type thing. My first year I did an Outsiders fanfic (gen, for the most part) and my second year (last year) I did Death Note (yaoi; pairing was LxMatsuda). Both of these are on here so if you just can't wait for the update of this story, go check out the others I did. ;D

Anyway!

The main pairings will be Haseo x Endrance and Kuhn x Silabus, with hints of Haseo x Shino. Meaning that, yes, this story is shonen-ai. Meaning that these four will be gay with one another, eventually.

The title comes from Juli's song, "Ich Liebe dieses Leben", meaning "I love this life." in German. Awesome song. Go listen to it, even if you don't understand what's being said. Chapter titles are from Wir Sind Helden's song, "Nur Ein Wort." So much German, I know. xD

Also! This story will be darker than what I usually write for my December fics. Or my fanfics in general. xD;; There will be mentions of insanity and, eventually, character death.

So, without further ado, please enjoy "Dieses Leben."


	2. Ich sehe, dass du denkst

There was a constant hum of voices that followed him wherever he want. In his classes, at his work, on the streets, in the halls of the hospital. Even in the halls of the dormitory he lived in. There was never silence. That hum of voices would have, for anyone else, become background noise; barely noticeable, so lost in his or her task that s/he had no time to think about it.

But Misaki Ryou wasn't like anyone else. Misaki Ryou was _special_. Misaki Ryou always noticed the noise, because he tended to focus on things that wouldn't lead to _her_.

_don't think about that. she'll get better, she will, and it's not yo-  
_  
It seemed as though the hum wouldn't leave him alone, for even when he logged onto The World there was a hum there. People were always talking. At least this hum of noise was optional though; he could just mute the whole thing, turn the sound off. But he rarely did, finding it easier to just warp into a dungeon or field and escape the people than to mute the computer. Because what if _she_ said something and he missed it? He couldn't do that. He couldn't.

At least in The World he had people to distract him. He didn't have to focus as desperately as he did in the real world. He didn't have to pretend as hard that everything was okay, because he didn't know these people that he played with in real life. He didn't have to see them everyday. He didn'thave to log in every day.

But he still did, because there was always the chance that he wouldn't see any of them ever again. Just like Shi-

_it's not your fault. it's tri-edge, he's the one to blame. it isn't you._

He wished he could believe himself.


	3. Ich denke dass du fühlst

Seven years later, and Tomonari Kasumi still couldn't get over the fact that he had been dumped by the perfect girl. Rejected, after all the things they had been through (they had been through a lot, hadn't they? That's what he had always thought, in any case...), because he was too immature. He tried to win her back, to be more mature, but in the end she remained firm. And as the years went by, he finally did mature. He was funny when he had to be (around the ladies) and serious when he had to be (around Pi). And anyone in between? He was the laid-back, easy-going fellow who flirted with ladies and just happened to be an epitaph user. Not that many knew the latter, since it wasn't something one would brag about (if they were smart, anyway). The former, though... everyone knew that. It was common knowledge

Tomonari wasn't a stranger when it came to The World. He had played R:1, after all, as Sieg. He had been obsessed with becoming better than the so-called "Descendants of Fiona." And he remembered that R:1 had been fun. After Mai broke up with him, he had continued playing the game. And when CC Corp's Japanese headquarters burned down and, sometime later, R:2 came out, Kuhn started playing that too. For fun, at first, but then his new job at an arcade began stressing him out. His boss was a tyrant, his coworkers were idiots, and he was constantly getting yelled at for checking out the ladies. But, hey! If they were going to be walking around in skirts, who was he to not look? Girls didn't wear skirts because they wanted to be comfortable!

Of course, it was once he started playing R:2 that he found out he was an epitaph user. A player who had this... power, to fight off AIDA, and to actually have a chance at beating it.

This newfound knowledge naturally caused him stress. How was he supposed to fight off AIDA? He wasn't anyone special. He was still mourning the fact that he had been dumped, despite it happening seven years ago. He got yelled at at work for a number of things, half of which he was innocent for.

Teaching those newbies, Cashmere and Wool, the basics of the game was a surprising way for Kuhn to relax. Enjoying it so much, he made his own guild. And thus Canard was born.

It was because of this that two newbies joined. Gaspard, a Shadow Warlock of the Tu Tribe. A bit cowardly, but he always pulled through in the end for his friend Silabus.

Silabus...

Silabus was something different. A bit like Tabby, with his optimistic attitude and determination to learn, only a lot more... calm. Very helpful, too. He'd encourage Gaspard to just try, to have fun with the game. To not be afraid when fighting a monster; they could do it.

Silabus reminded Tomonari that there were good people out there. That someone would accept Tomonari for who he was; that he could be immature, could flirt with ladies, and it wouldn't be seen as a negative thing.

That a good person didn't have to be close to someone to be kind.


	4. Ich fühle dass du willst

Ichinose Kaoru had always been shy. Had always been the weird kid, both in real life and online. Real life because he was so shy, so different. Didn't play sports like all the other boys, didn't join any clubs like all the other kids. No, he was always on the computer playing The World.

And even in The World he was different, because his best friend was a character that shouldn't exist. Or, rather, her design shouldn't have. She looked like a cross between a cat and a rabit; while her body and facial features were definitely cat-like, her ears were not. Rumored to be an NPC, it seemed as though only Elk knew the truth about Mia. Mia was real. She had to have been real. No NPC could act the way Mia did.

_and they all said she didn't exist, but she existed. she did exist, she does exist, even now. mia's always with me, always..._

But then she started.. glitching. But it wasn't because she was an NPC, it wasn't! It was her headset. Mia just had a bad headset, that was all! And even when she... transformed. It was still Mia. And when she attacked hi-

When The World was destroyed, Kaoru was lost. To be separated from Mia was painful, to say the least. But then The World came back, and Kaoru was reborn as Endrance.

And things were fine. They really were. He was reunited with Mia, and he entertained himself by fighting in the Arena. Somewhere along the line he became obsessed with beauty, and it seemed fighting that someone like him should be Emperor.

But then Haseo...

_killed her, he killed Mia, and probably didn't feel an ounce of guilt. and endrance locked himself away, because a life without Mia, a world without mia, wasn't worth it._

Haseo came to find him, though. Because he needed Endrance. Someone needed _him_.

For once, he was needed.


	5. Aber ich hör dich nicht

Morino Yuuichi did not have a job. Morino Yuuichi did not have a car. Morino Yuuichi didn't know how to drive. Morino Yuuichi depended on his parents to pay his rent for his apartment and for his schooling. Morino Yuuichi did not have a girlfriend, nor did he like parties. Morino Yuuichi was a net-addict, so he began jogging to keep in shape. Morino Yuuichi has a messy room and spent more time in a virtual world than a real world. Morino Yuuichi never studies.

Despite all this, Morino Yuuichi was content. He enjoyed life. He liked helping people out, so he volunteered when he had free time. People in general made him happy, and that was part of the reason why he wanted to become a reporter or journalist; he wanted to help people keep in touch with the community, the rest of the world. He wanted to expose new things, just like Salvador Aihara did.

And what better way to learn new things than by playing The World? Easier than spending hours reading news stories, he could just ask other players what was going on. Or even eavesdrop, maybe, but Yuuichi liked asking people the questions himself. And it just didn't feel right to listen in on a private conversation.

On his first day playing The World, Yuuichi (aka Silabus) met a pink dog-like creature by the name of Gaspard. It had also been Gaspard's first day, and the two of them immediately hit it off despite the age difference. Together, they struggled to level up in a game filled with PKers. It seemed hopeless, since neither of them were very good at the game and PKers seemed way more experienced; they would never level up at this rate. But then Kuhn came. Kuhn invited them into Canard, and Kuhn taught them how to play. Kuhn protected them. Kuhn spent time with them and got to know them.

They might not know each other in real life, but Silabus felt closer to Kuhn than he did with his real life friends.


	6. Ich hab mir ein Wörterbuch geliehen

"Haseo? Are you okay?"

Airy, that's what the voice was. Airy, almost dreamy. Slow like molasses but not heavy at all. For a moment, Haseo just admired the voice before replying.

"I'm fine. C'mon, let's go."

His usual, brash attitude. Don't let them know anything is wrong. Don't let the pain show. If it was mental, it was obvious, because online that's all one could show. Their personality, their true self; even when they were lying, there was something that was true. Playing a male PC when one's a female - different genders, but the favorite color remains the same.

But a physical pain? That was something that was strictly in real life only. Can't show pain online or everyone'll think you're begging for attention. The most someone would say was that he or she was going to get some pain killers. But a headache? Haseo wasn't about to make a big deal out of that. He could deal with the pain. He didn't have to let his friends know, especially for such a minor thing.

And he didn't dare say anything about his headache in front of Endrance. Endrance bothered Haseo enough, with his constant, "Should we take a break..?" or "Do you need to be healed..?" As if Haseo was delicate. Ha! Haseo was anything _but_. If Endrance knew Haseo had a headache, he would demand they stop.

But Haseo couldn't stop. He couldn't stop playing, not for something so small, so insignificant. He had to level up, get stronger, because if he didn't then he would never be able to face Tri-Edge, to face Shino. He had to get stronger, for Shino, and Alkaid, and everyone else who had become a Lost One!

He had to...

* * *


	7. Dir A bis Z ins Ohr geschrieen

"You sure do like girls, huh Kuhn?" Gaspard asked one day as he waddled alongside Kuhn. Looking down at his short friend in surprise, Kuhn rose an eyebrow. While Gaspard could be a coward at times, and wasn't as smart as Silabus, it was pretty obvious from his random questions that he was younger than the other members of Canard.

"Well, yeah!" Kuhn said, recovering from his shock fairly quickly. Grinning easily, he added dreamily, "What's not to love? They're so sweet. ;D"

"What'd'ya mean?" Ah, how naive Gaspard was. To not know the joys of being intimate with a girl..!

Then again, Kuhn didn't really know such "joy" either. He had only dated one girl before, after all. And it hadn't lasted that long. Not nearly as long as Kuhn would have liked it to last, anyway.

"I mean, they're just... sweet! How they look, and act, and... everything's great about women!" Sighing happily again, he spotted two girls shopping. Or, rather, one girl shopping and the other was selling the first some items. Turning back to Gaspard, he winked. "How about I hook you up with a girl?"

"Huh?! Oh, no no!" Despite being pink, Gaspard's PC managed to blush. Kuhn laughed, looking back at the two girls.

"I got the green one. The seller seems to be more your type," Kuhn said. And the seller did; she, too, was a beast-type like Gaspard. Turning to look at the "seller", Gaspard gasped.

"T-the green one? But, Kuhn, that's-"

"Come on! Let's go pick up some ladies. ;D" Kuhn said, cutting Gaspard off. With those words, he walked towards Cherry Berry Pie, the shop the two girls were at. Once he was close enough, he wrapped an arm around the 'green one'.

"Need a loan? You can pay me back with interest. ;D" Kuhn murmured seductively, blue hair mingling with the girl's brown hair.

And then the girl turned around, and Kuhn found that the green one wasn't a girl at all.

"S-Silabus?!"

* * *


	8. Ich stapel tausend wirre Worte auf

Endrance was a lot of things, but he was _not_ a stalker.

Because it wasn't as though he followed Haseo around. When he did, it was because Haseo invited him. He didn't follow Haseo when he wasn't in Haseo's party. No, Endrance had manners.

He just stood outside of Canard's Home. There was a difference.

And Endrance didn't spam Haseo with PMs, proclaiming his love for the Adept Rogue. He only did that when Haseo sent him a card. And even then, he wasn't outright saying, "I love you." He just... heavily implied. It was so not the same.

Maybe he was being too bold. Maybe he should tone it down. But everytime he saw Haseo, this feeling rose up within him. This was the one who needed him. This was the one who cared about him. This was the one who liked him, who accepted him. Endrance knew he creeped Haseo out with his implications of love, and yet Haseo still spoke to him. With every gift that Haseo gave him, with every invite to a party, that feeling grew. Because Haseo didn't have to do any of it. He didn't need to give Endrance gifts. He didn't need to invite Endrance into parties.

Yet Haseo did. And not just once, but he did it again, and again, and again. That was why Endrance was so loyal to Haseo. That's why he was so devoted.

That's why Endrance didn't stalk Haseo. He merely... kept a close eye on him.


	9. die dich am Ärmel ziehen

"Ehh, I dunno... That seems a little pricey to me..." Silabus said, hand on his chin and other hand cupping his elbow; his trademark thinking pose.

The beast-girl huffed in annoyance, her own hands on her hips. "Are you kidding me?! This is way cheap compared to the other stores! You won't find Weird Black Tea this cheap, believe me!"

Biting the inside of his cheek, Silabus frowned. He didn't want to spend all of his GP, but he had heard Weird Black Tea was a really good item...

About to give his answer, he jumped when he felt an arm slide around his waist and warm breath on his cheek. Whoever it was started flirting with him, and as he turned around to tell the guy that he was i not /i interested, his eyes widened comically when he realized who it was.

The other person's eyes widened as well when he realized just who he had hit on.

"S-Silabus?!" Kuhn exclaimed, face flushing bright red in embarrassment.

"Kuhn!" Silabus said, blushing as well. "What are-"

"Kuuuuhn!" Gaspard had finally caught up to them. "I tried to tell you! ):"

"..." Kuhn covered his face with his hand, groaning. How awkward was this? To feel up his guild member... He wouldn't be surprised if the next thing Silabus said was that he was quitting the guild.

But, instead, Silabus laughed. "Is your sickness acting up again, Kuhn:)"

Gaspard shook his head while Kuhn, a bit surprised, laughed shakily. "Y-yeah, I guess it was. Sorry about that, Silabus..."

"Don't worry about it:)" Silabus said cheerfully.

"Are you going to buy anything or not? You're scaring away customers!" the beast-girl huffed in annoyance yet again, and Kuhn winced. Yeesh. And to think he had intended on setting Gaspard up with her...

Silabus frowned again, before turning to Kuhn again, a smile on his face. "Hey Kuhn... wanna still give me that loan?"


	10. Und wo du hingehen willst

"Thank you very much for inviting me into your party!" Atoli chirped, bowing low even as fully warped into the root town. Haseo sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. She was so... eager about everything. Even greeting someone, she made it seem as though she was being graded on it.

If Shino was there, she would smile and say a quiet hello. Her voice would be calm, welcoming. Not at all like Atoli's, whose enthusiasm tended to scare away some of the more timid members. Despite their appearances, Atoli and Shino were nothing alike. And yet Haseo still couldn't help but compare the two. It was completely unfair to Atoli, he knew, and yet...

He could only think of Shino whenever he saw Atoli. Think of Shino's calming presence when Atoli was being overbearing, think of Shino's soothing words when Atoli freaked out. It was only Shino, Shino, Shino, never Atoli.

But even Shino was replaced when Endrance came. Endrance... was like a cross of the two. He worried about Haseo, sometimes overbearingly so, but he didn't nag at him like Atoli did. He was just there, silently supporting Haseo, like Shino did.

Gradually, he stopped constantly thinking of Shino. The drive was still there, to bring her out of her coma, but now he wanted to get stronger not just for her, but for everyone else. For Alkaid, for Silabus and Gaspard, Kuhn and Pi...

For Endrance.

Now, whenever he went to a field, he'd invite Endrance to his party. Yeah, the older man's words embarrassed him, but that quickly wore off. Endrance would express his glee and then follow Haseo, content with being next to him. He'd keep Haseo calm when Atoli pissed him off.

Endrance became his new support system. Gradually, he replaced Shino.


	11. Ich häng an deinen Beinen

To say things around Canard were weird was an understatement. After the whole shopping incident, Kuhn couldn't even look at Silabus. At first, it amused Silabus and Gaspard, but when Kuhn began to stop inviting Silabus into parties for leveling up or something, Silabus began to get suspicious. Which was understandable, really, since Silabus would probably do the same thing if the roles were reversed.

At least, that's what Kuhn told himself. But deep down he knew that it wouldn't be like that. That Silabus would apologize earnestly and then things would get back to normal. But... ugh! To hit on one of his guildmembers! How could Kuhn have done that? Silabus was... what? Fourteen? Fifteen? He felt like such a pedophile now!

Although it hadn't been the first time Kuhn had hit on a girl who was... quite a bit younger than he was, it was the first time he had done it to a boy. And one he knew..! Ugh, he felt like such an idiot. How could he have done something like that? How could he have hit o-

**_chime!_**

A letter popped up in front of his PC, letting Kuhn know he had new mail. Jumping slightly in surprise, Kuhn contemplated reading it before deciding not to. It was probably Tabby or Gaspard, or maybe those two newbies, Cashmere and Wool. Shrugging it off, Kuhn decided to read the mail letter. It couldn't be that important, right?

And so he went on with wandering around Mac Anu.

Not even ten minutes after the message had been sent, he got a flash mail from Silabus.

_Where are you?_

Stopping, Kuhn frowned. Did he tell Silabus where he was, or...

"Oh! Kuhn! There you are!"

...did he let Silabus find him? Grimacing, Kuhn turned around to face Silabus, a forced smile on his face.

"H-hey Silabus.." Kuhn said, face twitching as he fought to keep the smile on his face. Don't let Silabus know anything was wrong, he told himself.

"Can we talk somewhere?" Silabus asked, putting a hand on his hip and shifting his weight to one foot. "I won't keep you for too long, just-"

"It's fine. Let's go to the Home."

Smiling, Silabus nodded and walked alongside Kuhn to the warp portal, where they then warped into the Home.

Silence reigned for a moment after both had gotten in. And then, clearly uncomfortable, Kuhn cleared his throat.

"Listen, Silabus. About the other day-"

"Don't worry about it!" Silabus said. "That wasn't the first time something like that's happened to me."

"Wha-?! Seriously? I mean, you do look kind of feminine from the back, but-" Once again, Kuhn was cut off.

"Not everyone's straight, Kuhn," Silabus said, a small smile on his face. "Some guys like femme boys."

Kuhn's jaw dropped.

"B-but! You don't look fem... I mean, you kind of do, but not that much, and.." he trailed off, before bursting out. "That's just gross!"

Blinking, Silabus tilted his head curiously. "You're not okay with homosexuality..?"

Kuhn winced; his speakers might not work all that well, but he could still hear the unmistakable hurt in Silabus' voice.

"Not that! I mean, you're what? fifteen? To hit on a kid-"

Silabus burst out laughing.

"Fifteen? You think that's my age?" Silabus said, chuckling.

"You mean... you're not?" Kuhn asked, frowning. "Are you younger than that..? You seem pretty mature for your age, but.."

"No!" Silabus laughed more. "I'm nineteen!"

"..." Kuhn felt a part of his mind break off and shatter.

"I'm a freshman in college," Silabus continued. "Do I really seem that young?"

"W-well, no, but... you hang out with Gaspard, so I thought.." Kuhn trailed off. Jeez, if he thought he had felt like an idiot before...

"Gaspard's six years younger than me," Silabus said. "He's a pretty smart kid though."

By now, Kuhn felt like banging his head against a wall. Gaspard was seriously thirteen? And here Kuhn thought the kid was nine or something!

"How old are you, Kuhn?"

"...old," Kuhn said sulkily, pouting childishly. Silabus laughed again.

"Seriously! I won't tell anyone. :)"

"..I'm twenty-four."

"You're only five years older than me! That's nothing to be ashamed about!" He started to say something else when Gaspard walked in.

"Hey, Silabus? Are you- Oh! Kuhn! You're talking to Silabus again! I'm so happy!" Gaspard squealed, running over to hug his guildmaster. "I'm so happy you guys are friends again!"

"Me too, Gaspard," Kuhn said, a small grin forming.

_Me too_


	12. Wenn du schon auf den Mund fallen musst

"Haseo? Is something wrong?" Endrance asked, looking worriedly at the Adept Rogue. They had been training in a field, running to the Gott Statue, when Haseo suddenly stopped running. Thinking that it was something in real life, Endrance had stopped as well, not asking Haseo what was wrong. Maybe it was just a phone call, or his parents (Haseo did live with his parents, didn't he..?) needed him, or...

Looking up, Endrance took a hesitant step closer, noticing the look of befuddlement on Haseo's face.

"Haseo?" Endrance asked again, softer this time, when Haseo didn't reply to him the first time.

"Sorry," Haseo said after a long moment, still looking lost. "What were we doing?"

Endrance furrowed his brows. "We were going to the Gott Statue." He paused. "Are you okay, Haseo?"

"I'm fine. Just a headache," Haseo said, shrugging it off. "Can you lead? I'll follow you."

Suspicious, Endrance folded his arms elegantly over his chest. "What's wrong, Haseo." Not a question; a demand that he be told.

"It's just a headache!" Haseo insisted. He looked up at Endrance, eyes pleading. "Just lead, okay?"

Eyes narrowing, Endrance nodded after a moment. "Fine. I... I know you'll tell me later, so I'll wait until then."

At least, Endrance hoped Haseo would tell him. He couldn't support Haseo if he didn't know what the problem was.

* * *

**Note: **Haseo's forgetfulness plays a bigger role in the story; it's not just me grasping for ideas. xD;; 


	13. Warum dann nicht auf meinen

Silabus hadn't known Alkaid for very long, but the two had gotten along right away. Whereas Silabus seemed more timid and content to stay in the background, Alkaid demanded the spotlight. Her whole outfit was bold, making her stand out more than her loud personality and tough chick exterior. And as if her appearance and personality didn't make her stick out enough, she was also an arena empire. Famous throughout The World, it surprised normal players to see her with a newbie like Silabus.

They did meet on a fairly regular basis, talking as they cleared field after field. Of course, Alkaid did belong in Icolo and Silabus was in Canard, so they couldn't play as often as they might have liked, but they found the time to do it.

Today was one of those days.

"Antares is such a hardass!" Alkaid laughed. "You should meet him one day!"

Silabus laughed nervously. "He sounds pretty... intimidating."

"Naw! He's great, really!" Alkaid said, nodding at a monster portal. "Ready?"

"Yeah!" Silabus said, running after Alkaid as she shot off towards the portal. Drawing out his sword, he quickly brought up his Skills window and attacked, preventing the monster from powering up or bringing their defense down.

"What's Kuhn like, anyway?" Alkaid asked, slashing at a monster and dealing a heavy blow, nearly killing it with that one hit. "You talk more about Gastard than Kuhn, ya know?"

"Gaspard," Silabus corrected automatically, moving to attack the monster Alkaid had just attacked. That was the way they usually did it; because they're levels were so apart, they'd usually go into a level that was strong enough that Silabus would have trouble defeating the enemies but wouldn't die in one or two hits, and Alkaid could still get experience from it. "And Kuhn... he's a ladies man. :)"

"A ladies man? Whaddya mean by that?" Alkaid asked, blocking an attack from the other monster.

"Kuhn has a sickness. Or that's what Gaspard and I call it, anyway. If he sees a lady, he has to flirt with her," Silabus said, finishing the monster off with another skill attack.

Alkaid swung her blades at the remaining monster. "Sounds like a pervert to me! Hyaaah, take this!" The monster fell, turning to grey before disappearing.

"I guess he kind of is. He tones it down though when he's around Gaspard though. Ever since that one incident..." Silabus laughed again as the blue dome surrounding them fell away.

"The one where he hit on you?" Alkaid asked, walking over to the treasure and opening it. "Eh, it's junk. You want it?" She offered the Holy Water to Silabus.

"Thanks:)" he said, taking it. "Where to now?"

"Well, we have two mor-"

_[chime!_

A mail icon appeared at the top of his window.

"Ahh, sorry!" he apologized, opening the message:

"**Subject:** Silabus

**Body:** We need to talk. Can you meet me in the Alchemy District?"

Brow furrowing, Silabus closed the mail and frowned.

"Kuhn needs to talk to me," Silabus explained. "I'll send you a message later, okay?"

"Yeah, sure!" Alkaid said. "I'll be on for awhile longer now, so send me an invite when you're done, okay?"

Waving, she ran towards the next portal, leaving Silabus to gate out.

* * *

**Note:** In .hack//ALCOR, Silabus and Alkaid are friends. I haven't read the manga though, so I hope I did their interactions okay. oo;; 


	14. Bitte gib mir nur ein oh

"Misaki-kun? Are you feeling okay..?"

Ryou looked up, eyes glassy, at his coworker. Slowly, his brow furrowed as he looked at his coworker and then at the box of instant potatoes he was supposed to be shelving. He must have spaced out or something; he had completely forgotten about shelving them. He had been forgetting things a lot lately. That, and getting more and more headaches.

"You don't look that good," his coworker fussed. Taking another step closer to him, she reached out her hand and put it on his forehead. Her eyes widened. "Misaki-kun! You're burning up!"

Raising a hand to feel his forehead, Ryou realized that he was indeed burning up. He frowned; he hadn't even noticed he was hot, or that he wasn't feeling well. Though... he had been tired lately. Maybe that was an indicator? But Ryou assumed he was spending too much time playing The World, and not enough time sleeping.

"Go home, Misaki-kun," the girl said, kneeling down to shelve the boxes Ryou was supposed to. "I've got this covered, okay? Just go sign out and go home." She smiled at him sweetly, and Ryou blinked at her, a blush rising. She reminded him of... of... what was her name? The one from The World, that he had failed to protect? Hin... Hinata? No, that wasn't it. Hi... Hin... Hino?

Shino! That was it! His coworker reminded him of Shino!

It was as Ryou was signing out of work that he realized that he had forgotten Shino's name. At that moment, Ryou stopped what he was doing and stared down at the floor. He had forgotten Shino's name. He was forgetting people's names more and more often. He was getting more and more tired, getting fevers more and more frequently...

Taking a shaky breath, Ryou finished signing out and left the grocery store he worked on, intending on making a call to his doctor.


	15. Bitte gib mir nur ein

Sitting on the fountain, Kuhn stared at the Warp Portal nervously. He.. he had to do this, didn't he? He didn't have a choice. He had bigger things to deal with than Canard, as much as he hated to admit it. He had more important things to do than to teach a couple of newbies how to play the game. He had... he had to do this, to protect Silabus. Because if AIDA was real, then Silabus was endangered. And if Silabus got hurt...

Never did it pass Kuhn's mind that he was only concerned about Silabus and not Gaspard. Never did it pass his mind that he was thinking of _Silabus_, of all people. Not the ladies with whom he flirted with on a daily basis. He only thought of Silabus, because Kuhn...

"Hey Kuhn! What's up?" Silabus asked, running over to Kuhn. Kuhn stood, fidgeting for a moment before folding his arms in front of his chest.

"Some things have come up," Kuhn said. While his PC stared straight at Silabus, Tomonari was looking everywhere but the other PC. He couldn't look at Silabus right now. He felt so guilty, but he had to do this. He had to help Pi protect The World, he had to protect Silabus...

Silabus tilted his head, waiting for Kuhn to continue.

"I... I have to leave Canard," Kuhn said slowly. Silabus' eyes widened.

"What?!" he exclaimed. "Is... is something wrong? In real life, I mean?"

Kuhn hesitated, thinking of an answer. "There's something wrong with The World," he said finally. "I'm going to try and help fix it. Silabus.."

He stopped, making Silabus the guildmaster of Canard. This time, Tomonari did look at Silabus. But Silabus' expression didn't change.

"Kuhn.." Silabus said softly. "I... I can't..."

"You have to. I don't want Canard to disband; there's always going to be newbies. And you're a good teacher, Silabus. You've got a good grasp on the basics, and as you play the game more you'll learn more. I have faith in you, Silabus. I'll return to Canard one day, so take care of it, okay?"

Silence fell between the two, while the rest of The World continued to chatter.

"I'll do my best," Silabus said finally. "So... do your best too, okay? Gaspard and I will be rooting for you."

Kuhn nodded, swallowing. He had to do this for Silabus. This was... better for everyone. He couldn't get Silabus involved, so he had to separate himself from Silabus. Silabus would want to help, that was just how he was.

But... this was one thing Silabus couldn't help Kuhn with. This was something Kuhn had to do on his own.

* * *

**Notes:** I haven't seen the episode of //ROOTS where Kuhn leaves Canard, so please forgive me if it's totally OOC. I did my best. Dx 


	16. Bitte gib mir nur ein Wort

Haseo was beginning to worry Endrance. Really worry; not just a casual concern, but more than one would usually worry for an online friend. Because Haseo was forgetting things way too frequently. He had forgotten people's names, had forgotten what they were doing... and it worried Endrance. He hadn't known Haseo for very long, but from what he had heard of this wasn't like Haseo at all. Haseo didn't forget things. Haseo was sure of everything he was doing, even if he was completely wrong about doing it. Haseo...

Haseo didn't forget things. Or, rather, he didn't forget the names of his friends. He forgot about homework assignments.

And, because Endrance was so worried, he figured that maybe - just maybe - someone else would be worried about him too. But who? Who could he talk to?

Atoli was immediately ruled out. She irritated Haseo, despite the fact that the two were almost constantly in a party together. Saku hated Haseo, Alkaid was in a coma, Kuhn wasn't that close to Haseo, but...

Haseo was a guildmaster, wasn't he? So.. maybe his guildmembers would know something about Haseo..? Deciding that this was probably the best course to go with, Endrance warped to Canard's Home and waited.

Fortunately for him, he didn't have to wait long, for two players came almost a minute later. One was short and fat, an obscene shade of pink, and the other was normal looking. Handsome, even. It wasn't much of a choice who Endrance would talk to.

Stepping forward, the two other players stopped when they spotted Endrance. They whispered hurriedly to one another, before the taller one spoke.

"Can I help you?" the one clad in green asked, smiling up at Endrance.

"Yes.. can we talk in private?" Endrance asked, noticing how the normal one - Silabus - glanced down at his companion.

"Sure. :)" he said after a moment. "Lead the way."

Endrance nodded and walked away without a word, leading Silabus to a secluded area.

"About Haseo..." Endrance said, getting straight to the point. "Have you noticed anything... off about him?"

Silabus blinked, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Moving into his 'thinking pose', Silabus frowned. "I haven't seen much of Haseo lately, but he seemed fine when I did see him. Is something wrong with him?"

"I don't know," Endrance admitted. "...thanks for... your time." He turned to walk away.

"I'll send you a message if I notice anything," Silabus said, watching as Endrance paused before nodding and continuing on.

Maybe he was imagining that there was something wrong with Haseo. After all, these people had knwon Haseo longer than he had, right? So maybe it was normal for Haseo to forget things. Maybe they were all so used to it they didn't bother mentioning it.

Maybe..


	17. Es ist verrückt, wie schön du schweigst

"So? What'd Kuhn want?" Alkaid asked after Silabus had rejoined her. Silabus frowned, arms folded in front of his chest.

"He quit Canard and made me the guildmaster..." Silabus said, still finding it hard to believe. He had been a normal player a half hour ago, but now... now he was a guildmaster? All of a sudden, he had a load of responsibilities dumped on him. Were he anyone else, Silabus would be mad at Kuhn; to honestly expect him, a newbie, to lead a guild? Although to be fair it wasn't much of a guild - it was just Silabus and Gaspard, really. Nanase had been a part of Canard, but after what had happened...

That was another story.

"Wha? Really? Why'd he go and do that?" Alkaid asked, kicking open a chest. "Bah, it's junk, as usual. Here." She gave Silabus the item, and Silabus smiled.

"Thanks," he said, and then paused a moment before continuing. "Sorry to leave you again so soon, but I think I'm going to go. :( I'll talk to you later."

"Aww, it's no problem! See you soon!" Alkaid exclaimed, waving him off as he warped out of The World.

Setting his M2D down, Yuuichi sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Now... the game seemed more serious. It was almost like Final Fantasy; that subtle desperation that kept the feeling to beat the boss, save the world, or else all your "friends" die...

Changing out of his PJs, Yuuichi put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. It was a nice day for a jog...

* * *

**Notes: **Short chapter is short due to me having come down with a cold. Dx 

And, you know, totally slacking off on homework to play Harvest Moon.

(excuses weren't necessary but were given anyway. :D)


	18. Wie du dein hübsches Köpfchen neigst

Three days.

Haseo hadn't been online in three days. And it was beginning to really piss him off.

He had gone to the hospital where Shino was, so that he could pay her a visit and then get checked out. But he had forgotten her room number (something was seriously, seriously wrong with him. How could he have forgotten her room number? As if forgetting her name wasn't bad enough...) and when a nurse found him wandering about, he told her that he wanted to get checked out. He was having memory problems, he said. He didn't mention how tired he was lately; it was just from playing The World too much, that was all. The stress of being an epitaph user kept him up at night.

Yeah.

The nurse brought him to a waiting room, and after a short amount of time the doctor had called for him. Ryou had gone in, told the doctor what was wrong, to which the doctor had made that annoying 'hmm' noise. Half hour later, he told Ryou it'd be best if he stayed over night so they could keep an eye on him.

Reluctantly, Ryou did so. He did feel guilty about not telling his friends that he wasn't going to be on for awhile; Sillyrus or whatever his name was would probably worry, and so would Endurance. And the blonde-haired girl, Natalie.

After spending the night at the hospital, the doctor had prescribed Ryou with some antibiotics and sent him on his way after strict instructions not to play The World for too long. He had gone back to his dorm and spent the rest of the day taking notes on what he had missed; he didn't want his dad yelling at him. The next day he caught up on homework (was it really necessary for his teachers to give him this much homework? Jeez!).

By the time he finally did log in, he had forgotten all about apologizing to his friends. He had waved aside their questions, instead saying that they had to train for the upcoming Arena match.

And even when his head began to pound, Ryou didn't stop playing. He pushed through the pain. He had to get stronger for...

For...


	19. Und der ganzen Welt und mir

He didn't mean to do it. He didn't mean to forget about what used to be so important to him. He didn't mean to forget about Canard and everyone who was in it; Nanase and Gaspard and Silabus. Especially Silabus. He never meant to forget about Silabus. Although, to be fair, it wasn't that he forgot. He just... didn't think about it. About them. About... him. And Kuhn felt so guilty about it, because Canard used to be his thing. He was the guildmaster of Canard, the guild especially for helping out newbies. And now...

Now he was the flirt, the guy who wasn't "on" as often. The slave of Pi and Yata. He was an epitaph user, the host of Magus. And it seemed as though that was it. His whole identity seemed to become the epitaph user. To train, control his power, fight AIDA. Invesitgate where AIDA was and destroy it. AIDA, AIDA, AIDA... It was tiring.

Kuhn missed being just Kuhn. Kuhn missed Gaspard and Silabus talking about his sickness, even if his sickness was mostly for show now. Because Silabus had pretty much said he was okay with homosexuality (if not that he was gay himself), but how would he react if he found out his trusted guildmaster loved him? It would be almost like a teacher-student relationship. And yet, Kuhn still had his doubts.

But Silabus was in college. He was nineteen. And there were people married whose age gap was way more than five years. So it would be okay if Kuhn confessed, right?

He didn't think about that. He didn't think about Silabus. It was all training, and AIDA, and Pi, and Yata, and...

And it was better this way. Silabus wouldn't get involved with AIDA and become a lost one.


	20. Die kalte Schulter zeigst

As soon as Endrance had seen that Haseo signed on, he immediately sent the younger boy a flash message.

_Haseo! Where have you been?_

But it was right after he had sent the message that Haseo warped right in front of him. Immediately, Endrance moved closer.

"I was so worried. Not being able to see you for so long, and without a word from you... it was horrible," Endrance said, his usual airy tone tinged with worry.

Haseo stared at him for a long moment, brows furrowed together. He put a hand on his head, gloved hands burrowing into silver hair.

"I'm fine," Haseo said shortly. "I had to catch up on school stuff."

Endrance hesitated; that did sound logical. But... it wasn't like Haseo to just leave without a word. Not for three days, anyway. Because Haseo played such a crucial role in this game of epitaph users and AIDA, and Haseo took that role seriously. If he could save Shino by doing it, then he would.

Swallowing, Kaoru straightened up in his chair, hands gripping the controller tightly.

"Here's my number," he said, sending the number as a flash mail so only Haseo would read it. "If you ever need help, please call-"

"I don't need any help," Haseo grumped, hand dropping from his hair to fold across his chest.

"Even if it's just for school. I've graduated already, so plea-"

"I'm fine." It was obvious Haseo was getting annoyed. Desperately, Kaoru thought for something to say. Anything to say, because if Haseo left now, what if he didn't sign on again? If Kaoru never saw Haseo again...

"I'm going to go see Shino. I'll be on later," Haseo said, shifting his weight from one foot the other. "I promise."

And with that, he logged out, leaving Endrance feeling more hopeless than he ever had before.


	21. Du baust aus Schweigen dir ein Zelt

Having been chased out of yet another field by PKers, Silabus sighed, head hung low. Gaspard waddled slowly behind him, becoming more and more clingy towards Silabus; as if he were afraid that Silabus, too, would leave him. But Silabus wouldn't do that to Gaspard. He couldn't. Not if he could help it, anyway.

"Hey, Silabus?" Gaspard said, voice low and shaky. Probably trying to not to cry - that had been one of the things the PKers had made fun of him for.

"What's up, Gaspard?" Silabus asked, as if everything were normal. As if Gaspard was trying not to cry, as if Kuhn hadn't left, as if Alkaid were still the Arena Emperor, as if Silabus wasn't a guildmaster...

"I... I miss Kuhn," Gaspard admitted, voice small. Shyly, he looked up at Silabus; no doubt he was thinking Silabus would take offense to that, as if Silabus was going to think that Gaspard was implying Silabus was doing a bad job. And maybe Silabus was, but he was trying! He really was! He hosted seminars and did his best to recruit and...

"Me too," Silabus said softly, "I really miss him."

"Things are different now," murmured Gaspard. "I don't know if I like it.."

"It'll get better, Gaspard!" Silabus said, slipping into the 'encourager' role easily. "Don't give up yet!"

"I'm not! It's just.. it's so h-hard..." Gaspard hiccuped, sniffling. "W-we can't even go into a normal field anymore without som-someone trying to PK us, a-and how are we ever going to ge-"

Gaspard continued crying, but a flash of blue had caught Silabus' eye.

_It couldn't be... could it?_

"Kuhn..?" Silabus said quietly, brow furrowed. To Gaspard, he exclaimed, "I'll be right back!" and ran off towards where he had seen the blue-haired character go.

Just as he was about to round a corner, he heard Gaspard crash into someone. Pausing for a moment, Yuuichi tightened his grip on the controller. Did he go after Kuhn (or someone that looked like him), or did he help out Gaspard..? He was a guildmaster now, and.. he couldn't stay in the past. Not anymore!

Turning around, Silabus ran back to Gaspard, only to see a teenage boy with silver hair dressed in black leather.

Haseo.

* * *

**Note:** It's been a LONG time since I've played the first //GU game, so I apologize for the OOCness and inaccurate-ness of this chapter. We'll go with the "This is AU, and thus I can bend the original storyline a bit" excuse. 


	22. Stellst es mitten in die Welt

"Hey, Haseo!" called out a young boy, running over to Haseo. His plaid shorts, however short they might be on him, still managed to look fairly baggy. Though that might just have been from the overall poofiness of it. Smiling, the young boy came to a stop in front of Haseo, who only looked at him with furrowed brows. "I haven't seen you in Mac Anu in a long time. Are you shopping for something?"

Staring at the chat log where the name "Sakubo" was in bolded letters, the rest of the text in normal, Haseo frowned. Sakubo... Sakubo... the name should have rung a bell, since this kid obviously knew Haseo, but... nothing came up. He felt as though he knew this person though, and yet he couldn't think of the kid's name! No matter how hard he tried, the name wouldn't come to him.

Tilting his head, the boy asked, "Haseo..? Is something wrong?"

"Uhh... remind me again who you are?" Haseo asked, putting a hand behind his neck. He felt so awkward doing this, more so now since he was doing it more frequently. The person who look at him with wide eyes, before their face became lined with confusion and worry.

But never before had the eyes filled with tears.

"T-this is Haseo, right? My big brother?" the boy asked. "It's me, Haseo! It's Bo!"

Big brother? Bo? But... wasn't the kid's name SAKUBO? So... who was Saku then?

"Not ringing any bells. Sorry, kid, but I think you have the wrong person," Haseo said, shrugging.

"Wrong person?" the voice changed suddenly, more feminine than before. "What d'ya mean by that?! Are you ashamed to see me because you know Master En loves me more than you? It's fine with me if you want to ignore ME, since then I can spend more time with Master En instead of having to deal with YOU, but don't be mean to Bo!"

Master En..? Who was that..?

"Whatever," Haseo said shortly. "I'm logging out."

And with that, he did, leaving behind a fuming Saku and a hurt Bo.


	23. Spannst die Schnüre und staunst stumm

**Sender:** Saku  
**Subject:** Haseo  
**Body:** Hey Master En!

I'm sorry to have to mail you (I know you hate it) about such a stupid thing like Haseo, but Bo's getting really worried about Haseo. Bo went to talk to Haseo the other day and Haseo was acting like he didn't know who Bo was.

It was just an act, right? Have you noticed anything about Haseo?

**Sender:** Endrance  
**Subject:** RE: Haseo  
**Body:** He forgot who Bo was..?

Why not ask Haseo yourself?

**Sender:** Saku  
**Subject:** RE:RE: Haseo  
**Body:** Haseo and I don't exactly get along, Master En.

Bo was really upset after he spoke to Haseo. Hasn't even logged on.

Please, Master En? Please talk to Haseo?

**Sender:** Endrance  
**Subject:** RE:RE:RE: Haseo  
**Body:** I have talked to Haseo about it; he denies anything is wrong.

**Sender:** Saku  
**Subject:** RE:RE:RE:RE: Haseo  
**Body:** And you believe him? Haseo's a liar, Master En. You shouldn't trust what he says.

You don't believe him, do you?

**Sender:** Endrance  
**Subject:** RE:RE:RE:RE:RE: Haseo  
**Body:** No, I don't.

I don't want to push him though. He'll tell me what's wrong when the time is right.


	24. Wenn nachts ein Mädchen drüberfällt

"Hey, Silabus! What're you doing here?" Gaspard asked, leaning forward eagerly atop Shop Acorn's small counter.

"I just thought I'd visit. :) You look pretty lonely by yourself," Silabus said, smiling at his friend with his arms folded behind his back. With Mac Anu's eternal sunset shining opposite of Silabus, the artificial light really highlighted Silabus' features; the highlights that wouldn't have been seen shone brilliantly, brown eyes sparkling warmly.

Gaspard beamed back, moving to the side to make room for Silabus so he could join Gaspard. "Thanks, Silabus!" Gaspard gushed. His grin faltered. "Kestrel members have been coming here more often.."

"Have they been picking on you?" Silabus asked, immediately concerned.

"No! They just... buy stuff. D'you think that they won't pick on us anymore? 'cause we have Haseo now?" There was hope in Gaspard's voice as he looked up at Silabus.

"Whose been picking on you guys?" asked a familiar voice. Spinning around, Silabus and Gaspard saw that it was Kuhn. Laughing delightedly, Gaspard ran around the counter to hug his old guildmaster. Bending slightly to hug Gaspard back, Kuhn straightened when he noticed Silabus didn't run over to greet him either, but stayed behind the shop counter. Tilting his head, Kuhn rose an eyebrow in question at Silabus.

"Hey Kuhn," Silabus said, smiling. Still, he didn't move from the counter. He was afraid that if he did, he'd forgive Kuhn for everything. For leaving them all of a sudden, for not even keeping in touch, for giving Silabus so much responsibility, for...

For not noticing that Silabus was more than a member of Canard.

Now frowning, Kuhn said slowly, "Is everything okay, Silabus?"

Swallowing, Yuuichi gripped his controller tightly, palms sweaty. He had to leave here, because he was going to forgive Kuhn and he'd get hurt all over again; this was only temporary, wasn't it? A mere coincidence. That was all it was. It wasn't as though Kuhn was coming back to Canard. It wasn't like things were going to return to normal. Things could never be normal, not after this...

"I'm fine :)" Silabus said, smiling his usual smile.

Kuhn opened his mouth to speak, but Gaspard jumped in then. "Hey, Kuhn, what're you doing here? D'you need some items? You can have anything you want for free! Haseo won't mind, would he Silabus?"

"No, I don't think he would. He barely checks the store as it is," Silabus said. "I'm sure he won't notice a few hundred GP missing. :)"

"Heh, I appreciate the offer but I'll have to turn it down for now. I, uh... I actually came to talk to Silabus," Kuhn said, grinning shyly as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Mind if I steal him for a bit, Gaspard?"

"Oh, no! Go ahead! I can watch the shop!" Gaspard grinned, running back to go behind the counter. "Go on, Silabus! Don't worry about me!"

Hesitating, Silabus took a step from behind the counter, and then another, and another, until he was at Kuhn's side.

"Great! Let's go to the Alchemy District," Kuhn exclaimed, grabbing Silabus' hand and turning away before Silabus could notice the blush on Kuhn's cheeks.

It seemed that some emotions transfered into the game, whether or not the command was typed in.


	25. In meinem Blut werfen

For awhile, things had taken a turn for normalcy. Or maybe everyone had just gotten used to Haseo forgetting things, for logging off suddenly and without warning? Sure, he was becoming rather unreliable, but he was needed. He was needed to defeat AIDA, and everyone had to accept his faults. Because if they didn't, then what could they do? 

It was obvious that everyone was concerned about Haseo, but no one really confronted him about it. They'd ask if he was alright, sure, but after he yelled at them no one bothered to ask again. He was a weapon, and it wouldn't do to get him too upset. He'd be like an open invitation for AIDA. So they kept quiet. Atoli and Endrance, who wanted to know so desperately what was wrong. Bo, who was still hurt, and Saku, who wanted to know _why_ Haseo would do that to her brother. Silabus, who wanted everything to go back to normal, who didn't want to become a guildmaster, not again. And Yata, who was sending Pi to investigate so many things about the player behind Haseo, so that G.U. wouldn't lose Skeith.

After awhile, everyone had accepted there was something wrong with Haseo and moved on. There was nothing more that could be done.

But then, they'd ask if maybe they should have done more, when Haseo hadn't logged on for over a week. If only Atoli had kept asking if Haseo was okay, if only Endrance had told Haseo that he was there and that Haseo could tell him if anything was wrong, if only Yata had kept a closer eye on Haseo, if only Pi hadn't been such a condescending old hag, if only, if only...

After nine days with no sign of Haseo, Yata finally looked up Haseo's player information and investigated himself. Maybe the player Misaki Ryou had exams. Maybe Misaki Ryou was on vacation with his family. Maybe, maybe, a world of maybes.

But the cold hard truth, Yata discovered, was that Misaki Ryou had died. He had a condition that was similar to meningitis, and it seemed as though he had had it for years. Had it for years and hadn't been treating it; probably hadn't even noticed it.

The condition might have been brought on by Skeith possessing Misaki Ryou all those years ago. Or maybe Misaki had been born with it, or had gotten it sometime during his youth.

Nevertheless, Yata had to tell the members of G.U. what had happened. He told Pi at first, who then told the rest of the members, who in turn told the members of Canard. And they in turn told the rest of The World, because Haseo had died. The Arena Emperor, the only one to be the undefeated champ of all three rings, no longer existed. He wouldn't be able to re-login. Wouldn't be able to hit the reset button.

And so Yata visited Misaki Ryou's gravesite, and a day later logged into Haseo's account, just to see if he could activate Skeith.

Misaki Ryou no longer existed, but the threat of AIDA was ever so real.

* * *


	26. die Endorphine Blasen

For whatever reason, Kuhn didn't use a Warp Portal, but instead walked the entire distance to the Alchemy District. Somewhere along the way his hand had become linked with Silabus', something neither of them missed. Both kept silent, however. Silabus, because he wasn't entirely sure how the hands had become connected, and Kuhn, because he didn't want to scare Silabus off. He had to let Silabus get used to it, just like he was doing to all the PCs currently logged on. Kuhn the Flirt was a flirt no more, and he wanted everyone to know.

At last, they reached the Alchemy District, and Kuhn lead Silabus up the stairs to the balcony overlooking the ocean, the orange rays of the setting sun setting everything aflame.

"What's up, Kuhn?" Silabus asked, breaking the silence. He was staring straight at Kuhn, while the real Yuuichi was looking off to the side. He couldn't look at Kuhn, he couldn't..!

Fidgeting for a moment, Kuhn kept quiet, as though going through some kind of internal struggle. One side seemed to win, for Kuhn grinned, no sign of nervousness evident.

"I just wanted to thank you for taking over on such short notice!" Kuhn exclaimed. "It really means a lot!"

And while Silabus remained smiling, Yuuichi frowned. That was it? Kuhn just wanted to thank Silabus for watching the guild? He had to drag Silabus all this way just to-

Kuhn's face suddenly got closer, and closer, until it was all Yuuichi could see. Switching his view mode to third-person, he nearly fell out of his seat when he saw what was going on.

Kuhn was kissing him.

Kuhn was kissing _him_ on the balcony in Mac Anu, in the place where everyone could see what was going on and there would be no mistake what was happening. Both his real and virtual face bright red, Silabus broke away from the kiss.

"K-Kuhn, I.." he stuttered, fidgeting with his black gloves nervously.

"I've liked you for a long time, Silabus," Kuhn said honestly, earnestly. Now, the nervousness was evident in his tone of voice. "That's why I left, and I left Canard to you. Because I had to protect you, and I knew you'd protect Canard. I'm so sorry for not keeping in contact, but I-"

"It's alright :)" Silabus said, putting a finger to Kuhn's lips. "Just don't do it again, okay?" His lips replaced the finger, arms wrapping around Kuhn's torso. The kiss was brief, sweet, and when it ended Silabus put his head against Kuhn's chest. Whispering, he continued, "Don't leave me again."

And, propping his chin on Silabus' head, Kuhn wrapped his arms around Silabus firmly.

"I won't."

_That's a promise._


	27. Ende

**Das ist alles!**

And that's it, everyone:D I hoped you all enjoyed it. It was my first time switching character POVs every chapter, and I think doing that did make writing it somewhat easier. I hope the lack of a solid timeline didn't confuse anyone either; I imagined the KuhnSila bits to take place during //ROOTS, eventually going into //GU towards the last chapters, and HasEnd to take place during the second game.

As for Haseo dying...

I knew that I wanted to write this fic with Haseo dying. I wanted Dieses Leben to be a ying-yang type of story, because let's face it: life isn't all good or all bad. There's a balance of the two, which is why KuhnSila is my lighter pair and HasEnd is my darker pair. I don't know if the disease that Haseo died of actually exists, but as my friend Tatshmaru explained about this girl whose condition I based Haseo's from,

"It was a bacterial infection that progressed over a few weeks. The girl began forgetting common things, like where her classes were and her friend's names. She had horribly headaches and fevers and was tired all the time."

My explanation to Haseo suddenly getting this seemingly random disease was that suppose Skeith did do some damage to Misaki Ryou. We know that the Doll Syndrome affects both the PC and the real body; suppose getting possessed by an Avatar would do some kind of damage as well? In any case, we know that what happens online doesn't stay online.

**Vielen dank!**

Thank you very much to everyone who reviewed, and special thanks to-

DyingHerInnocence, who drew me a beautiful picture for the story and reviewed nearly all (if not all) of the chapters, as well as talking to me via PMs

YamiAkurei, Steeple333, and PirateCaptainBo for reviewing so much and talking to me through PMs as well!

And, of course, Tatshmaru, for giving me the idea of the condition.

I hope to continue talking to everyone, and expect more fics from me in the future!

(Like a wedding one, for example ;D)


End file.
